Well today is our official "rest" day of p90x. We have the option of doing the stretch workout and I will choose to do that because I need to stretch these poor, overworked muscles of mine.
Reflecting back over the course of the last week, these are a few things I've learned:
I enjoy working out. I don't know why I fight against it so much. I truly love it and I'm glad I'm back to it. I especially enjoy the variety that p90x offers. Not to say that is the only way to get fit, because there are hundreds of ways to exercise. Usually I'll check the TV schedule before starting any kind of exercise. I didn't do that this week at all. I wanted to start my workout as soon as Emberlyn was asleep. That's a huge change for me.
Cooking is fun! I've been making fresh, delicious meals for Steven and I and it is a lot of fun. I always thought it would be more time consuming because you have to chop up veggies and stuff. But it's not. And I usually dirty less pans! Steven is loving eating my cooking too. Last night he compared the burger I made to something you would buy in a really nice restaurant. That is a huge compliment!
Spirtual and emotional wellness is a heck of a lot harder to achieve and is going to take longer. Physical wellness is about input and output. Sadly, it's not that simple with emotional wellness. Allow me to elaborate on this subject a bit. I have been having a marvelous day today. I got through a huge stack of entry I needed to do, got to have lunch with my Susannah (my oldest daughter) and got a bonus of seeing my dad as he breezed through town. The sun is out and I was feeling great! Uplifted! Inspired! Then a friend of mine emailed me, needing a shoulder to cry on and someone to vent to. The topic of conversation was one that was familiar to me and one I could sympathize with, but nothing that effects my life now. But as I delved further into her issues with her, I started freaking out. Was this same thing happening in my life and I just didn't know it??? My mood started to darken, I no longer felt the joy I was feeling earlier and I lashed out at my husband, completely without cause or merit. I took her problems and internalized them and spewed them out.
Why did I do this? Is it because I'm such a sensitive person? Is it because I truly believed the situation could be happening to me? No. I did it because I have a long journey to find emotional wellness. I did it based on the past, not the present. It was a knee jerk reaction not based in my reality. I caught myself quickly, which is a step forward for me, but before I caught myself I had already lashed out. It's a lot of work, this emotional and spiritual wellness. I know I'm going in the right direction and I realize it can't all come at once. So I realize one big step I need to take is to separate myself from the problems of my friends. I just need to figure out how to do that.
Ideas?
I know I'll get there. But there are always dips in the road.
Much Love.
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